Monday, October 8, 2012

32 Weeks: Decisions, Decisions...

Every time a week goes by and the end of pregnancy comes near...I have miniature freak-out moments. I don't want time slow down but I'm being reminded constantly that soon our lives will change drastically!
It will all start with labor and birth of Genesis Turpin, or sweet baby girl.

Labor and birth? No, thanks! I'll just skip it this time around. Just hand me my baby please, all clean and swaddled, on my due date, with a cake and champagne for all.


Going into labor and delivering a baby has always filled me with a bit of anxiety and trepidation. I'm one of those people who get nervous about an event and get cold-feet right before it happens...If you could hear what is going on in my mind, it would be something like this: "I don't want to do this. Make it stop. I regret everything leading up to this. Can I get out of this? What would I have to do to? Make it stop. Oh, please. Oh, please."

That is pretty much how I see the birth process going for me. Sure, I know how to keep a straight-faced exterior, calm, and collected...but inside I'm FREAKING out, wishing I were somewhere or someone else at the moment.

Because I realize getting cold-feet is inevitable, and that giving birth is also inevitable (no turning back now!), I've put forth the effort to educate myself and research birthing methods. Boy, talk about a different world. No longer is pregnancy necessarily about the baby anymore, but it is now become about the birth. Will you have a natural or medicated birth? Hospital, birthing center, or at home? Doula, midwife, or OB? C-section, induction, or strictly "natural"?
Birth plans are becoming extremely popular nowadays, some being basic and to-the-point, some being extensive 4-page "to-do" lists.
Something interesting I've come across in my research is the overwhelming differences of opinion between the up-and-coming Natural Birth Movement and the more common Hospital births.

Pretty much (and this is my opinion and how it translated to me) each sides opinion is as follows:

Natural Birth Movement will tell you: Hospitals are only there to take your money, the staff does not care about you nor your baby- let alone the delivery process, they will medicate you (and therefore your baby) to the point you are unable to adequately bond with your baby, will make it difficult for you to breastfeed, and will push for inductions/C-sections on everyone who walks in the L&D floor.


Hospital will tell you: Home-births are a place of danger, mid-wives may or may not actually know what they are doing in case of medical emergency, they have certain protocols that are set in place for labor and delivery (depending on which hospital), they will encourage certain medications (because of lawsuits in the past), and you may have a different Doctor delivering your child other than the one you've been seeing the last 9 months.

It is up to the Mom and Dad to decide which side they believe more.

I've found so many studies and research articles, namely on medicated versus unmedicated births and natural versus induction, but have come up with a conclusion: You can find studies that agree or encourage either side. Seriously. If you are determined that epidurals cause a difficult labor that ultimately leads to a greater risk for C-section, you will find a study supporting your view. However, if you look for research that negates that fact and even goes so far as to say that further interventions are actually dependent on factors surrounding labor (i.e. length, duration/strength of contractions, ability of mother, etc) and not medications, you will find those too.

So, what am I to think?
It is all personal preference.

Perhaps this view will change in future pregnancies, but for now, it is what I am sticking too.

This is my first experience with pregnancy, labor, giving birth, and having a baby. So you know what I want to do? Make the process something that I will look back on with fond memories. No regrets about potentially not being able to have an unmedicated birth like I want (the baby doesn't care anyway and will not remember).

Therefore, I'm not writing a detailed birth plan. Sure, I will have a few things that I would specifically request, but I'd rather not go over-board and be disappointed about any deviations from my "list".

-If I think the pain is something I do not want to bear (I've never been in a lot of pain, so my threshold is unknown at this time...), I will ask for an epidural (you can usually ask for a low dose, by the way...).
-I would actually prefer that little baby Genny be cleaned off before I attempt to breastfeed. Sorry, sweet girl, you will be covered in goop and gore- and that gives me the creeps.

That's about all I've come up with as far as specific requests for labor and delivery. I've done plenty of research, so I'm not flying blind. I understand risks and complications. I understand patient rights. I feel comfortable in a hospital and understand how it functions.
In my mind, it doesn't really matter how she is born because SHE WILL BE BORN!!!!!! That, my friends and family, is what this whole process is all about. Not that you had a c-section or vaginal birth, not that you gave birth at a hospital or at home. The baby really won't care.

Lets just get there and get it done. In about 8 weeks, I will inform you how delivery actually went. But, whatever happens, I know it will be one of the greatest memories Brent and I will ever have. I can't WAIT to see our baby! 

How is little Genny doing?

She probably weighs about 3 lbs, and is between 16-19 inches. She is running out of room in my belly, and from what I can tell, is now head down (for the most part). Every now and then, Brent and I can feel her outline...from her butt to her head. She hiccups almost daily, and they last for a few minutes each time. Her favorite side to lay on has been the right side- Not sure why, but that is where we've found/felt her mainly!

Changing table/organizer. The middle shelf is her cloth diapers and inserts. The curtains are one of my favorite parts of the room- so bright and cheery! None of these pictures do the nursery justice really, it is a very sun-shiny, happy place. Which was our intention :)
Genesis' room. My favorite place. It may be small, but it's sweet and cozy! The chair is to die-for comfortable...

Her nursery is complete, besides the little things that all babies need (more clothes, blankets, bathing stuff, etc)...but my friend, Linzi, is hosting a baby shower for me in two weeks and what we don't receive we will buy as soon as we can. I love being prepared :)

Best thing about being pregnant? It is almost done! Haha!

Worst thing? I'm still pregnant. My belly is getting huge, I get short of breath when I'm sitting down or lying in bed, and it takes foreeeeeever to fall asleep.

Cravings? Everything, but I still adore fruit. Nectarines and apples! YES!

Baby Bump? Measuring right on track, according to my OB.

What do you miss? The other night I had a dream about going for a run along a paved road, surrounded by trees. It was absolutely glorious. I see runners at the park every time I go in to work, and I am filled with longing. They look so free and weightless! So at ease!

What are you looking forward too? Going on leave from work. Hopefully, November 23rd will be my first day off to start maternity leave. Cutting it pretty close, but it fills me with joy to think of being off work to prepare for baby :)
Oh, and my baby shower! First one EVER!

Brent and I made these this past week. Pretty nifty. And with that, I'll leave you until next time!